The Smell Of Defeat

Working in the bar industry you get to see a lot of people trying to hook up in a variety of ways, but every now and then you get to experience the mating rituals of Homo-Rejectus. This poor individual is lacking the proper social skills to successfully meet and carry on a conversation with someone to which they are seeking the attention of. After having made several attempts to get an audience with the target of their advances and failed terribly they often turn to the behavior of a second grader, such as the person I saw last night. Yes, he was drunk, got shot down and after being spurned, made a few disparaging comments loud enough for all to hear and, as a parting gift, farted and departed. You have to enjoy a good case study, maybe someday I’ll write a paper.

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There's Bad Hair Days, and Then There's THIS Guy....

Sometimes you see someone and just have to step back and say WOW! I think I saw THE WORST haircut ever, and I think it was on purpose but not in a funny jokey kind of way, more like he actually thought it was cool. The guy had one of those oversized heads with a way too skinny neck supporting his large oblong shaped cranium wearing a grubby white tee-shirt, very reminiscent of someone a bit on the inbred side of the old south (Banjo music in the background please) The receding hairline was very pronounce with one of those little hair islands sitting in the middle, atop his five-head with a styled curl, almost Squiggy-like while the rest of his head was shaved with a number two guide up until the back of his ears, then it was like a long shag mullet in the back. I have to give it to the guy though, he was rockin’ that doo and hitting on these two women who were clearly out of his league and telling stories, trying to be humorous and smart. Now I don’t know if the ladies felt sorry for him or were just in shock but they put up with him for at least fifteen minutes before he moved on. Truly a site to behold was this quaff, if he comes in again I will have to get a picture so I may share the true glory that words themselves cannot do justice.

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Thanks for your comment, I am glad you are enjoying the stories. Right now we are using Drupal 7 for the page and hope to add a bit more content on the page to help support some local businesses and fundraising efforts.

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Crazy is as Crazy Does

Sometimes it’s interesting how offended people get when you are acting very rationally and being very reasonable but it isn’t what they want to hear. I was trying to be very polite to this woman last night even though she seemed a bit off kilter, she was acting sober and was a bit strange, but for all intents and purposes seemed very servable, definitely within my duties as a bartender (yes, I said duty). There was however that little voice in the back of my head saying “I don’t know man, this one could bite you in the ass!” of course I shook it off, disregarding common sense. Then the weirdness kicked in. Talking to strangers like she knew them, giving people back rubs that she didn’t know, and them looking at me with that strange smile on their face, as to say “Is this ok? I’m not really ok with this.” Finally she looks at me and says “Why haven’t you carded me?” pointing at the sign that states if you look under 35 you will be carded. I simply said “Well, I figure you look almost double that so there’s no need!” She gasped, said a few choice words and left. It’s nice to be creative when you need to ask someone to leave without even having to ask.

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The 80's Weren't All Good

Having grown up in the 80’s, I am a fan of a lot of the culture from those times as I like to reminisce about a simpler way of life without cell phones (at least ones that didn’t weigh ten pounds or more) with crazy hairstyles, funky clothes and new music without a disco theme. My LEAST favorite part about the 80’s was the coked up business guy that always needed to be noticed and always talked about money. How to make money, spend money, avoid taxes and how much money they have, and had to be the loudest guy in the place so everyone noticed them. Well, that guy showed up last night, pinstriped pink shirt and all. Look Rip Van Winkle, we didn’t like you then and we don’t like you now, maybe if you go back to sleep for another twenty years you’ll be back in style, OR you could just quit being an ass hat.

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Buck's Inaugural Post AKA Breaking The Seal

Hello and welcome to all! This is kind of exciting for me to be able to get going on this project, which has been made possible by my good friend Dylan Edwards who is still creating this blog for me so I can post about all my exploits at the bar. As most of you know I am a bartender in Bend, OR and have been posting about some of the funny, obnoxious or just plain ludacris things that happen to me at work on my Facebook page. I am hoping to be able to continue this for all the people that follow my posts already and share my tales with others not on Facebook. Keep in mind, the look will be changing from time to time until we get all the bugs worked out, until then I will be posting here and on Facebook as well.

I do believe the weather played a part in the slow evening that was looking to be uneventful, but thank God for twenty-first birthdays! Three girls out on the town on a Wednesday night can still have a good time when they put their mind to it. Although I do believe that, between the three of them, they only had one mind after the first round of drinks. It's a good thing I was around to help steer them in the right direction. Stars (Bend's version of a strip club) is a good place for three young girls to stay out of trouble, right?

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Thats awesome! Wish we had a follow up on these 3. Great page, its going on the favorites list.
cheers

This is going to be hours of entertainment. Thanks for sharing Buck!

Hey this will be awesome facebooks timeline shit won't be making your nightly stories jump up and down...great idea!!!:*)

oxox~K!:*)

yeah!!

Buck, I'm glad you're doing this! Thank you for sharing your talents with the world that I knew were there when I was 5 (maybe earlier)! I hope you take off to new heights with this and find overwhelming success! You will always have my friendship and support!

This is awesome! I can't wait until you get this published and the book is on coffee tables everywhere!! Have fun buddy.

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