Proof That The Sun Can Shine on a Dog's.....

So these two women came in last night and ordered a couple of drinks and shots, nothing out of the ordinary, but there was something about them I couldn’t quite put my finger on. So I struck up a little conversation with them to see what their deal was, they were friends and one of them was visiting from out of town and they were just looking for a bit of fun on a Thursday night. Fair enough, they took their drinks and moved off to the video poker to try their luck. Later on I look down at the end of the bar and notice they are talking to one of my regulars, now this guy is no ladies man so the fact that they are all chatting each other up peaks my interest so I go investigate. Not only is he talking to them but the one gal is actually acting interested and engaging in a real conversation. That’s when I figured out what was off about these two, they were either crazy or secret government operatives sent to abduct this poor guy, these are the only logical reasons I could think of. Either way, if he doesn’t show up in the next couple of days I am going to pretend that I never met him. “Who did you say? Never heard of the guy.”

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Buck, these are great. Cannot wait for the book!

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Handlebar Romancer

What a good crowd we had last night. No really, almost everyone was great and for some reason a lot of people were buying drinks for each other and being happy and generous. There was of course one old guy trying unsuccessfully to impress these two girls at the bar by showing them how loud and creepy he could be. Apparently the ladies used to be a bit easier to woo back in the day. Oh yeah, maybe it would be easier to pick up on girls if you had a license and a car instead of no license and a bike. For some reason riding home on your handle bars kind of kills the mood.

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Archive: Mega Trash

For some reason, two times this week I have been referred to as "Dawg", last night's was particularly amusing. This poor girl should have beat down who ever said it was ok to go out in your jog-bra and tights (which were living up to their name and looking a bit on the stressed side to boot) belly hanging down to the crotch, with her braided-ponytailed muscle shirt wearing Neanderthal in tow. I am having a hard time putting into words what I was subjected to, and I have come up with Mega-Trash. Its like white trash on steroids, fueled by meth, vodka and cheese sticks. Without incident, they drank, ate and tipped in a whirlwind of f-bombs and all in a matter of about 15 minutes were gone. Kind of one of those, did that just happen? Yes, it surely did.

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The Smell Of Defeat

Working in the bar industry you get to see a lot of people trying to hook up in a variety of ways, but every now and then you get to experience the mating rituals of Homo-Rejectus. This poor individual is lacking the proper social skills to successfully meet and carry on a conversation with someone to which they are seeking the attention of. After having made several attempts to get an audience with the target of their advances and failed terribly they often turn to the behavior of a second grader, such as the person I saw last night. Yes, he was drunk, got shot down and after being spurned, made a few disparaging comments loud enough for all to hear and, as a parting gift, farted and departed. You have to enjoy a good case study, maybe someday I’ll write a paper.

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There's Bad Hair Days, and Then There's THIS Guy....

Sometimes you see someone and just have to step back and say WOW! I think I saw THE WORST haircut ever, and I think it was on purpose but not in a funny jokey kind of way, more like he actually thought it was cool. The guy had one of those oversized heads with a way too skinny neck supporting his large oblong shaped cranium wearing a grubby white tee-shirt, very reminiscent of someone a bit on the inbred side of the old south (Banjo music in the background please) The receding hairline was very pronounce with one of those little hair islands sitting in the middle, atop his five-head with a styled curl, almost Squiggy-like while the rest of his head was shaved with a number two guide up until the back of his ears, then it was like a long shag mullet in the back. I have to give it to the guy though, he was rockin’ that doo and hitting on these two women who were clearly out of his league and telling stories, trying to be humorous and smart. Now I don’t know if the ladies felt sorry for him or were just in shock but they put up with him for at least fifteen minutes before he moved on. Truly a site to behold was this quaff, if he comes in again I will have to get a picture so I may share the true glory that words themselves cannot do justice.

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Thanks for your comment, I am glad you are enjoying the stories. Right now we are using Drupal 7 for the page and hope to add a bit more content on the page to help support some local businesses and fundraising efforts.

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