The Sophisticunt

“That guy over there with the scruffy beard seems nice, but I just don’t think he’s sophisticated enough for me.” So said the older poorly dressed stuck up weirdo sitting at the bar eating corn chips covered with microwave melted cheddar cheese drinking Diet Pepsi in my dive bar last night. Sorry to burst your bubble sweetheart, but you would be so lucky as to have a nice guy like that interested in you for even a little while. He is nice, polite, always pays for his own drinks and has a job. I have seen some of the “sophisticated” types that come in from time to time and the difference between them and this guy is that he will never talk down to you, make you feel beneath him or try to impress you with money and the important people that he knows. Trust me, you are better off holding out for the guy that will treat you like crap and kick you to the curb when he gets tired of you. It would be big of you to spare us normal folk the pain of being rejected by someone as important as yourself, so maybe you should go eat your trailer trash nachos somewhere more deserving of your presence, that is, if they let someone wearing a grease stained track suit in their establishment.

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