Out of all of the customers that come into the bar there is a certain breed of people that look normal at first, and then slowly show their true self. I like to call them The Mooch. They come in all shapes and sizes, so they’re not always easy to spot, but they are a nuisance and eventually you will need to extricate them from your bar or they just piss off the paying customers. There is the obvious bum mooch, smelly and ask everyone for money. Then you have the broke girl mooch, she gets all dressed up and hopes to get some lonely guy to pay for her drinks all night and disappears on him when someone that seems like they have more money comes along. And last but certainly not the least is the sad sack mooch. This guy is always working an angle and seems like a hard working type that just can’t get a break. They never ask for money outright but they’re always up for a free drink with a myriad of different stories to bilk the unsuspecting patron out of their hard earned cash. This guy pisses me off the worst because once I single them out, if I don’t play my cards right, I end up looking like the bad guy. Fortunately for me, I know most of these guys around town and they know when the axe is coming down and take off before I get the chance to give them the boot. Sneaky little rascals, when will they learn I don’t mind being the bad guy?


I think my drunk broke ass used to pull that shit. I did always buy drinks when I had dough though! :)

I specifically remember a time when I opened the bar and made some good morning toast. I set it, hot and jellied, on the bar and a gentleman walks in and orders a drink. It happens to be something I need refilled and I run to the back of the bar to grab it. By the time I get back, 60 seconds, maybe, my toast was gone. Needless to say, I kicked him out and made more toast. Made me laugh, though.


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