It Puts The Lotion On It's Skin

Well, it was getting to the end of the night, no more drinks were being served and I thought we were going to have a lover’s quarrel with a Silence of the Lambs twist. We were down to four people in the bar at closing time, a young smooch couple enjoying each others company at the bar and these two guys sitting at a table who had been talking for a while. Well, the two young men’s conversation started to get a little loud with some excited table slapping, with one of them being obviously more upset than the other saying things like “If you want to be with him, fine, I don’t give a fuck!” which went into “Would you fuck me? No! Seriously! Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me!” At this point I’m about to throw Buffalo Bill out of the bar, when I realize it’s a business deal they’re talking about and not a heated spat where the small quiet guy is going to get bitch slapped and run off crying. Call me insensitive, but I started laughing when the Silence of the Lambs speech happened and after that point all I could see was the loud yelling guy in a bathrobe with red lipstick on with his wiener tucked between his legs looking at himself in the mirror. Yes, I may need to talk to someone about my sense of humor, but we all know how that would end up, some sort of complex not getting hugged enough, or too much by my mother or father and blah, blah, blah. I just chalk it up to other people being more fucked up than me, and me thinking that is hilarious, oh yes and a penchant for fava beans.

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