I Would Like to Apologize in Advance For.....

Sometimes you see something that makes you go “Yeah, that’s a good idea!” at least in your head it’s a good idea, then you go on your way and forget about it because of a phone call, beer, or near death experience got in the way. Well, when I got to work today, there on the cash register was a card that read “Tom Zeppo Boyle, Formerly of Memphis, TN now Bend, OR would like to apologize for his behavior on _______” Then it hit me, I used to joke with people about having cards similar to this made up to hand to the bartender and other innocent bystanders when we came into the bar. Believe me, back in the day, these things would have come in handy, at least so the people working in the bar would know when to kick us to the curb, saving themselves the trauma of the memories that we might have inflicted upon them. The more that I think about it though, half of the fun of being a complete dumbass was wondering who I needed to apologize to, kind of like a murder mystery but instead of a dead body, all we had to worry about was dead brain cells.

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