Can I Get Purple Dog With A Splash Of Confusion?

“What kind of Greyhounds do you make?” Yes, this is a question that I received several times last night. My response? “What do you mean? A Greyhound is a Greyhound, if it is not made with grapefruit juice and vodka then it is not a Greyhound, it would have a different name. Could you be a little more specific?” In a very pleasant tone of course. I had responses from basil and mint to blueberry in trying to describe what they wanted, that I can deal with. For one, we have none of those things and it made it easier for me to give them other options for drinks that they might like. Now, when the girl came up and asked what kind of ginger ale we had and asked if we had one that was spicy? Now that is just ridiculous! You are in a dive bar, what you see is what you get. Spicy ginger ale? You are lucky we have real ginger ale at all. A lot of bars don’t even have that. Would I go into a grocery store and ask if they had something like milk but was made out of wine and tasted like pizza? Or go into a café and after the guy sitting next to me ordered ham and scrambled eggs said “Yes, I’d like to have exactly what he’s having but can you make it an eggs benedict with mashed potatoes and chicken?” Things are called what they are for a reason, no matter what they are. Don’t compare one thing to something completely different and expect me to understand what you want when it’s Friday night and I’m three people deep at the bar, all yelling drink orders at me. Oh well, it’s time for me to go to bed in the cat box and finish my beer that looks more like pinot-pizzio.

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