April 2017

There Are No Stupid Questions, Only Stupid People

Part of my job as a bartender is to try to give people what they want, like most service industry jobs, that is how you get repeat customers. Most of the time that is not a difficult task, you fill the glass up with the preferred adult beverage and voila! Now, there are those situations where someone isn’t sure about what they want so you do your best to steer them in the right direction by asking a few questions about their preferences.


Why hello there full moon! How’s it going? I see you stirred things up again as usual, leaving it up to us bartenders and servers to help bring people down off the ledge and sent back on their way. Yeah, thanks for that. Honestly, it was a pretty mellow night, things were moving along just fine until the last half hour before closing. That’s when I was reminded of why the term “lunacy” exists. It is a derivative of the word Luna, which is moon, and the behavior associated with the affects the full moon has on people.


When you utter the phrase “It’s about time!” after I have served your drink on a busy Saturday night, you can expect to not be given another, especially when I apologized in advanced for you having to wait for your drink. If you are just naturally a bitch and just can’t help yourself, I expect that you get treated like this on a regular basis and just expect to be treated poorly when you go out. This would mean that your life falls under the old army acronym S.N.A.F.U. (Situation Normal All F*%#@& Up) which is sad to me.