February 2014

Steak Yes, But Hold The Skirt Steak Thank You

For all of the psychos and annoying happenings last night, the bums and the tweaker family circus (happy birthday by the way to the sister-cousin-girlfriend) there was an awesome ray of sunshine. I got to introduce someone to the ribeye steak. One of my regulars had never had a steak at our place and was getting really excited about trying it, that is until I introduced him to the ribeye steak and eggs breakfast with hash browns, a biscuit and gravy, then he was ecstatic.

Nice Bandana

Working, working, working having fun, fun, fun and then enter the long haired pretentious twit with a bandana on. Just because I ran your credit card, after not having been given any special instruction to clear your tab otherwise, this does not give you the right to declare that you think that you could be a better bartender. Also, when you are about five foot nothing, you should really be careful of what comes out of your mouth. Luckily I am a patient person, but someday you might run into someone that will want to put a foot up your pseudo-intellectual ass for being such a pompous fop.

Hur Dee Dur

Nothing starts my work day off like having two derelict morons sitting at the bar acting like total buffoons. The first thing that happened when I walk behind the bar was this little bummy guy says “Hey Brother, show me your tattoo.” So I pull up my shirt sleeve and he says “Oh, there ain’t no Jesus shit on there, those ain’t worth shit!” I had to hold back from making a comment that would be too harsh and I’m not exactly sure what “Jesus shit” is but I’m sure he didn’t appreciate his name being thrown around like that.

Quit Whining Like A Baby And Go Home

Closing time is closing time. No matter how many times you beg for a beer you will get nothing except for a pissed off bartender who, by the way, is sober and will remember you the next time you come in. This tactic of asking for something so many times that you become annoying to the point that the other person finally relents to your request may have worked on your parents but I am not one of your parents. Instead of getting what you want, you will get a hardy “Go fuck yourself!” and an invitation to leave.