January 2014

Eggs Over The Rainbow

When looking for food in the wee hours of the night, a slow night at that, one should take into consideration that special orders are not going to be satisfied by the cook that has most of the kitchen closed down for the night. This is how the conversation went with the little fellow in his fifties that looked like a leprechaun that lost his shillelagh and traded in his green hat and vest for a beanie and a leather biker jacket, after I told him the late night menu was all that was available.
Shamis- I’m going to put in a special order for food.

Killer Faux Pas

Now, I’m no fashion expert by any stretch of the imagination but I saw something that totally cracked me up last night. Picture, if you will a young man in his early twenties, a little stocky, wearing blue jeans, basketball kicks and a flat billed hat. All normal stuff, that is until you throw in the gold chain, pullover hoodie with the sleeves pulled up to the elbows and the fingerless wool gloves with the “diamond” bling watch worn on the outside of the wool gloves, he almost had it, then blew it.

Keep It In Your Pants Penis Breath!

If I had to pick a common thread for a couple of funny instances last night, it would have to be something to do with the male reproductive organ, also known as the penis. Our first incident came about when a jack-jawed tough guy came in and started messing with one of my regulars and took his hat. Now, in my experience, you don’t just snatch another person’s hat away from them, it never leads to anything good. So, a little pushing started over the incident and I got it separated and calmed down, sending the over excited idiot hat-grabber on his way.

Sad Pony

When you choose to sport a ponytail as a grown man there are a few things you need to ask yourself like “Can I pull this off?” or “Is this the look I really want to go for?” and most importantly “Do I have enough hair to legitimately deserve a ponytail?” To the gentleman that came in to the bar last night with a ponytail, the answer to the last question should have been a resounding “NO!” Sorry buddy, but when you can see more scalp than hair it’s time to let it go.