August 2013

Bar Curious? Depends

Why is it that when you see a couple make out at the bar everyone is like “Get a ROOM!” and you hear all kinds of comments about how inappropriate it is, yet when you see two girls making out at the bar it’s instantly awesome for most of those people? For one, most of the people in the bar are guys, and secondly it is more socially acceptable to see two girls going at it for shock value for the benefit of others rather than two old people mashing faces to get each other hot.

What Would A Boy Scout Do?

When you walk into the bar, and I use the term “walk” very loosely, and can barely attempt to order a drink at closing time, don’t argue with the bartender, or the coffee maker, or the napkin holder or whatever it was that you were trying to talk to. If you need a drink that bad at the end of the night then you need to Boy Scout the evening ahead of time, in other words, be prepared.

Priceless!

Loud and boisterous? Check! Pompous and overbearing? Check! Talking about money and how much of it he has? Check! Man with a manicure wearing sweats and gold jewelry? Check! Shaved head to cover up pre-mature balding? Check! Stealing a barstool from a girl because you are so important that you think being a TOTAL douche is appropriate? Priceless! Yes, then when the girl comes over to ask you about taking her barstool and all you can do is stair into your drink to avoid eye contact with her, you are indeed the definition of a cowardly jackass.

Psycho Saturday

It seems that every night in the downtown bar scene has a feel or theme, if you will, that carries on throughout the night. Some are light and fun, some are long and arduous, while others, like last night are running on pure psycho. Yes, last night was Psycho Saturday and it seemed even well intentioned people were turning into dumbasses.

Penny For Your Thoughts

Penny for your thoughts? While technically pennies are money, that does not mean that I am going to think fondly of them when you give them to me as a tip, especially when I know that you are just emptying the change out of your purse and don’t want to have to deal with them yourself. If you don’t want them, why would I? Yes, its money, but it’s not like she was giving me a tip, she just cleaned out her purse on the bar and left me a big fat mess to deal with, including receipts and old tissues on a busy Friday night. Sorry weird gambling lady, this does not make you seem more normal!