May 2013

Greedy Skank!

Now, I understand that people go out to the bars to hook up, but the girl last night was just plain greedy. This group of guys came in to get drinks and they had a girl with them, she was cute and was complaining about only having a dollar and how that couldn’t possibly buy her a drink, so of course one of the guys piped up that he would buy her a drink. Why wouldn’t he? She was obviously fishing for a drink and he was willing to pay, not an uncommon scenario, especially when she was wearing her high-class skank gear and him being a nice looking guy this was a pretty obvious hookup.

Ice Cream!

Last night’s full moon was surely to blame for some of the behaviors going on last night, as well as the fact that it was a Friday night and the beginning of a holiday weekend where a lot of people are looking forward, with giddy anticipation, to a few well deserved days off. However, I think someone left a window open at the booby-hatch that let a few people loose that shouldn’t have been, and allowed them to roam freely and, subsequently, enter our establishment and subject us to fits of ridiculousness. Take for example the ice cream man.

Residentially Challenged ESP

I’m not sure, but I think I may have acquired some form of ESP recently that only the residentially challenged can detect. Yes, I got tired of the term Bum, it’s too broad a spectrum that covers some people that have homes to live in. I also like the moniker of Hobo, but then I digress. Last night I chased off two such people without even asking them to leave. One guy was polite but very creepy, I served him a beer that he paid for but knew that I was watching his toothless ass and wasn’t going to put up with his skeevie antics, so he finished up and left.

Thunder-Taker

Now, I’m not sure how it works with everyone else, but the person having the birthday is supposed to be the drunkest person in the group. Apparently the skinny little fellow with the birthday girl last night did not understand the pecking order. You do not steal the thunder of the birthday girl! Now, had it been one of his buddies, I could understand that, but you never upstage a birthday girl, they get mean, not regular mean but drunk girl, it’s my twenty-first birthday and I will kill you mean!

No Rest For The Tweak-ed

I had the unfortunate circumstance of having to deal with the queen of the tweakers last night, well, me and everyone that came in close proximity of her. I had cut her off because she couldn’t sit still, couldn’t quit touching her face and apparently couldn’t keep her hands off of other people’s money as she stealthily stole a twenty dollar bill off of the bar that belonged to a very nice guy.

Freaky Friday

Well, that was one of the most oddball Friday nights I think I have ever seen at the bar, but then, that does seem to happen when the weather starts getting nicer. It started out slow, not slow for a Friday, just slow, which was nice because in one aspect, we got to talk to our regulars and chat up the tourists and that doesn’t usually happen. The downer of it all was the way that the night drags when it is slow and just when you get lulled into that false sense of being lackadaisical for the rest of the evening, POW!

Strive For Pro Status

Much like sports, there are a couple of kinds of classifications of people that go out drinking, the pros and the amateurs. Last night was a prime example of someone that considered themselves a pro, but in actuality, they were barely ranking in the amateur status. When you are drunk and go up to the bar to order a drink you don’t just stumble your way up to the bar and blurt out what is on your mind like “Whussky giner!” simply because the bartender will, at the very least, cut you off if not outright laugh in your face.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaa! Fuck!

I think it may have been somewhere between the forty-five year old frat boys trying to be louder and cooler than each other, and the tweak-heads cashing in lottery tickets for fifteen dollars asking for fives every ten minutes, but I almost snapped. I very rarely go off on people at work, but I do understand the term “Postal” a bit better now. After having a nice relaxing few days off and returning to work, I was nowhere near ready for the drunken idiot show last night.