February 2013

Where To Start....

For such a slow night it’s hard to pick a place to start. Was it the beach ball couple that came in, gambled and ordered breakfast at midnight? They were a couple I’m not soon to forget, total slobbery going on there, food all over the bar, slurping down their drinks, and when the woman overheard us complaining about how some of the homeless people act when they come in she pipes up and says “You think that’s bad? You should see what comes into Walmart!” Yeah, no thanks! The second was more of a “Holly shit! Why didn’t I think of that?” moment.

Ride The Pine Buddy

Ok guys, when you are on a first date, keeping it real isn’t always a good idea. Yes, you do need to let the other person get to know you, but putting it all out there and showing them the real you all at once could be a bit overwhelming for your date. Like last night when this couple came in, it was obviously their first date yet, while the woman was being a bit reserved and polite, the guy was about as loud and attention seeking as you could get, even to the point of asking my opinion if I thought women were nastier and thought of sex more than men. Strike one!

Odd Man Out

Most of us have the cognizant capabilities to recognize when things are amiss and can then remove ourselves from the situation at hand avoiding catastrophe.

Generation W

What has the new, younger generation become these days? Let me tell you, wieners, that’s what, woosies, whiners and wieners. Last night a guy came in with four of his buddies for his twenty-first birthday, for what I was supposing something that would kick the guys ass and leave him with a two day hangover. Something along the lines of a Long Island Ice Tea, an Adios Mother Fucker or multiple shots of tequila is something that would do the trick and leave the poor guy to be hauled out by his friends, puking all over himself and possibly even losing a shoe somewhere along the way.

Get Out!

Closing time is a double edge sword in the bar business. For those out and about having a good time it means the end of the night at that establishment and time to re-group and start thinking about the next place to go or to simply call it a night and go home. For the people working in the bar it’s a magical time where going home and relaxing is within grasp and the noise is only that of the music playing, the voices of your co-workers and the low hum of the fans in the coolers.

The Forgotten Ewww!

In the bar there are some drinks that were made that never got to realize the full potential of their existence, they are cast aside, left behind by the people that asked for them in order to have a good time, meet someone or forget about something that has been troubling them. I call these half full, or half empty drinks, depending on your philosophical point of view, The Forgotten Few, mostly because drinks cost so much these days, you can’t afford to leave one behind.

Boobs And Buttholes, Almost

The best way to describe last night was rush hour on the freeway, probably in Seattle if I had to compare. It was stop and go all night. At one point we were so bored we got some extra cleaning done, then the next thing to know it was people streaming in through the door non-stop. That coupled with having to fix the bathroom and a flood behind the bar kept the night moving along at a good pace.

The Wheels On The Bus......

I would like to thank everyone for their patience last night as it was one of the busiest nights I have ever seen down at the old bar, but hopefully everyone got taken care of. Now, when you are so drunk that I refuse to serve you a drink and allow you to stay, ordering food is a great option, in fact I encourage it. But when your food arrives and you argue with me about the fact that you didn’t order any food, don’t be surprised or act shocked that the only reason that I let you stay was because of a mutual friend’s birthday.

Smelly Spectacle

When you think of the word “Cascade” there are many images that come to mind, a powerful majestic waterfall, a skyrocketing geyser or possibly the spray from an ocean wave as it lunges upward and falls back to earth. There are many other possibilities and last night at work I got to see one that I had never thought of before, vomit. Yes, if you take a shot of something containing a large amount of alcohol that your body, for one reason or other, finds objectionable and is unwilling to accept at that moment in time, it will be rejected instantly and violently.