October 2012

Why So Angry?

It is impressive to see how much a tempered window can flex without actually breaking and the sound that is created by that force can be downright startling. But strangely enough, when the person that tried to throw the giant ashtray through the window (the kind of ashtray that sits on the ground) is confronted about their actions they get defensive and try to back away while trying to talk shit like they want to fight. Now, tell me if I’m wrong but if you actually want to fight someone wouldn’t you be advancing toward them to engage in a fight that you are trying to initiate?

Act Desperate, Stay Desperate

Which came first last night, lonely, desperate for attention or bat-shit crazy? Well, if you answered all three at once you would be almost correct but you’d have to add being a mooch to the list to get it right. Blondie comes in and right off the bat asks “What’s the cheapest drink you have?” My response was “How much do you have?” she said five bucks, I said four would get her a drink, as it was during a football game when the prices are a bit cheaper. The she asks if we have free food and it just went downhill from there.

Attack Of The Crack

Butt crack sightings are becoming way too commonplace these days. From the Whale Tail to the person that just can’t, or won’t, keep their drawers pulled up, the crack is more prevalent now than ever. Take for example last night, there was a young man sitting at the bar, both of his friends were giving him shit over the fact that he had a substantial amount of crack showing, but still did nothing a

Just Quit Trying and It Will Happen....

I think I would like to start off by saying thank you to all my regular post readers, I am glad that you enjoy keeping up with the goings on around the old watering hole. However, you cannot try to get into these stories, they just happen. It’s a phenomena like lightning, the northern lights or wetting your pants. It just happens, and when it’s something I can grab onto like a dog with a sock, I w

Hidden Meaning, Drunken Penis

Ok, I have a dumb as hell, yet funny thought in my head that I have to let out. Listening to the radio on the way home I heard an old Pearl Jam song and for some reason thought of the band name “Vedder Off Dead” where all the songs are Eddie Vedder covering Grateful Dead tunes. Yes, I know, stupid, but it made me chuckle. Anyway, speaking of stupid, if you know you are a guaranteed cut off once you reach a certain level of intoxication, you might want to learn to recognize that sensation before it becomes a reality and remove yourself from the situation before you are asked to leave.

Fun, Inner Deamons and Disgust

It was the best of times it was the….. Damn you Charles Dickens! I thought I had a good line going there. Anyway, we did have a great night last night, thanks to Ignite Bend and their after party we were not lacking for customers, who were great by the way. Even though we got caught a bit off guard, everyone had a blast. I did get to hear a few quotes that cracked me up though, and that is always

Double Damn It!

When annoying old dude chased off a couple of groups of women sitting at the bar by just taking to them, I knew I had made one of those “Damn It!” decisions. Those are the ones where you read someone when they come in a decide if you are going to serve them or not and you think you yourself “I think they are good for at least one before the ass out.” And right after you give them a drink the crazy comes out, and when you witness it, either the voice in your head or your real voice lets out a very distinctive “Damn It!” as you realize you actually made the wrong decision.

Last Call!

Last call can be a funny thing. When you start telling people that it’s time for last call you usually get one of two responses, its either “No thanks, I’m good.” or people go in the complete opposite direction and you get “Oh shit! What time is it? Well, then give me two shots, a whiskey and coke and a beer.” And that’s just for them, because at last call it’s every man/woman for themselves. So when last call came around last night there was a group of guys that decided that they would each order a round for the group from different servers and load up on last call drinks.

The One With The Dry Pants Wins!

My job definitely has many facets to it that are not always obvious on the surface but are very necessary to perform to make the night go smoothly. Yes, serving drinks in a timely fashion is probably the top priority, but then there is the friendly factor, being genuine with your customers and making people feel welcome and comfortable is also something to take into consideration. However the most overlooked part has to be the psychological factor of the job, reading people and being able to help them understand that you are looking out for their best interests.

Bad Boobs Are No Tip At All

What an interesting night. It started out slow, but I should have gotten a clue on how the night was going to turn out when a customer at the bar paid her tab and asked me if I wanted a tip. I stated that it was entirely up to her if she wanted to leave one and thanked her for coming in. (Just for future reference, asking your server or bartender that question is not awkward at all for them.) So she says “How about if I show you my boobs?” Did I forget to mention that she is not attractive in any way, has a missing tooth and kind of looks like a frog with bad tattoos?