June 2012

Wild And Crazy Guys!

I am so glad that I don’t work in a pickup bar, you know, the kind of place people go there just to hook up with someone, just short of a swingers club, but almost as sleazy. These guys came in last night that reminded me how ridiculous people can be when they get in that mode. Kind of like the “Wild and crazy guys!” portrayed by Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd, these guys were out to score with some chicks, almost as pathetic, but not as funny as those characters and kind of sad.

So, You Say You're A Stripper?

This may not be the most popular view, but I’m just going to throw it out there and I apologize to anyone that may be offended by this but just because a girl is a stripper, that does not make her hot. There, I said it, hate me if you will, but that’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it. Yes, I admit, it takes a lot to get up there and put on a show, let’s face it, I could never do anything like that, mostly because I would scare off all the customers and possibly get arrested, probably on some trumped up charge, but then I digress.

Well Surprise Surprise Surprise!

Surprises, some are good and some are bad, while yet others look bad and end up good and vice versa. Last night looked like the night was very slow and yet I ended up quite happy at the end of the evening, a bad to good scenario for sure. Since it was so slow, my late night cleaning guy thought it was going to be an easy cleanup for him until I hear “Oh my God! You have to check this out!” So I go into the bathroom and, as you may have guessed by now, there was a big hunk of poop on the floor.

Two Thumbs Up!

I am almost positive that the amount of people that I enjoy the company of at work outweigh the people that I have difficulty with by about thirty to one and last night I got reminded of that by one of my old regulars that doesn’t even live here anymore. For that I give a big thank you. Also, one of my longest running pains in the ass got 86’d yesterday and I didn’t even have to do it! Wahoo!

Patients Is A Virtue, And Sometimes A Necessity

If you come into a dive bar on a night when it is so packed that you have a hard time finding a seat, let alone getting to the bathroom and you are ordering drinks from the cook, you might expect to have to wait a little while. When you order drinks that the cook has never heard of, it could take longer and when you order drinks that the bartender has never heard of then it will take even longer than that.

Not Touching You!

I’m no expert in the field of psychology, but I can tell you from firsthand knowledge, most people don’t like their face being touched by a stranger, especially multiple times. All I have to say is, I thought someone was going to get punched, and was pleasantly surprised when the guy who was getting his face pawed at showed restraint. Although, the look on his face said “I want to kill this guy!” he chose not to act on it.

Dick Weasel

If you make disparaging comments about a woman, especially to her, I believe that almost getting beat up by her or her friends would be a realistic outcome to the situation. Now, if you have done this and your friend goes into this group of people without knowing what you have done to piss everyone off and he just thinks he’s going to go sit at a table with some pretty girls and almost gets his ass kicked and you don’t own up to your bullshit, then you are a dick.

Goodbyes And Barbed Wire

We held a proper wake yesterday for a great husband, father and friend. A lot of good things were said and some tears were shed, but all in all it was a great way for everyone to say goodbye and share some fun and touching stories. Life continues on for all of us who were touched by this man, for some the healing will take much longer than others, but then that is always the story when a loved one passes, no matter the reason why. Hopefully we all take something from the memories of his life and try to pass on the kindnesses to others we touch in our own lives.

Damn Hippies

“God damn hippies always smell like piss shit hemp and eggs!” The lyrics from a Guttermouth song definitely apply to the group of trustifarians that came in last night, stinking up the place and talking about how fucked up everyone else is in this country, except for them of course, very loudly. Now, when I say stinky, I should probably say rank or rancid, because it was almost unbearable, not just to me but to everyone in their vicinity. So when one of my customers came up and told one of the guys he smelled like shit, I definitely laughed a little, until the hippie took a swing at him.

Waiter Jesus

History definitely repeats itself. This is something you hear all the time and in my head I think “You know, if we just make a conscience effort to steer away from the mistakes of the past we can make sure this doesn’t happen again.” We’re smart enough as a species to figure this out, right? Well, I say that we are not, at least on certain levels. I would like to think on a global level, an ecological level and on a personal level that we do have the ability to steer away from past mistakes. How, you might ask does this have anything to do with a dive bar?