Being in my position, I am privy to all kinds of conversations, good, bad or just plain gross and most people either don’t think about the fact that they are in a public place and can be overheard quite easily or they just don’t care who knows what they are talking about. Take for example the thirty-something year old guy trying to pick up on the sixty-something year old by trying to impress her with the size of his wallet and trying to get her to go back to his hotel room, or the two girls talking about their feminine hygiene problems. Both examples are things I didn’t need to know, but will be forever bored into the deep recesses of my brain. After overhearing one of these conversations, I was kind of shaking my head with a sour look on my face when one of the guys sitting at the bar, minding his own business, notices my dismay and says “What’s up man?” So I simply say “I can’t believe some of the shit that comes out of peoples mouths!” He just nods a little and says “Yeah, a lot of people should be wearing a mouth diaper.” Then I laughed a little and went about the rest of my shift with a little extra smile on my face when I heard stupid conversations, just thinking about that person with a little diaper over their mouth to keep from getting anything on anyone else. In my head I could hear the commercial in that cheesy announcer voice “New! From Depends, it’s the Mouth Diaper!” I don’t know, just the mental image cracked me up.
Dive Bar Diaries