Identification Please

Until they make a device that alerts me to the presence of annoying assholes, one of the biggest parts of my job every day is to make sure that the people in the bar drinking are old enough to be there, usually by carding them. This is also a way to weed out potential problem people, like the person that is too drunk to find or pull out their identification, the homeless guy that is snooping around the bar trying to steal stuff from unsuspecting customers and that youngster that is almost old enough trying to make the rounds with their friends but still has a little time to go and can still get you a hefty fine. Most people gladly show you their I.D. with the understanding that this is a part of my job and it is no big deal, others make it seem an inconvenience but comply because they want a drink. Then there are the eye rollers. I swear I could hear this girl’s eyes roll back into her head last night, she was so annoyed. She jerks her wallet out of her jacket pocket, wrestles her I.D. out of it and throws it on the counter with a fierce look of annoyance. She looked young, but when I looked at the birth date, she had been twenty-one for less than a month. Seriously? Drop the attitude, you are not that important, in fact, I will be carding you every time I see you for the foreseeable future until you either start acting nicer or you just get over it and don’t come back. This is where that asshole detecting device would really come in handy.

2 Replies to “Identification Please”

  1. Love you. Yaknow that old blues brothers saying. “We’re on a mission from god”

    PS: the times are a-changin and im glad you started this blurb to keep us oldies entertained and hip!

  2. Perfect..i got carded way into my late 40’s and made sure that server or mixologist was on my Christmas card list!

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