So, three bad customers came in last night, all rolled up into the nice neat package of one person. Yes, this one guy encompassed three of my least favorite kind of customers, the best friend guy, the moocher and the “Claven” guy (Cliff Claven from Cheers). I had not seen this person in a while and, to be honest with you, hadn’t noticed and was glad about it until he walked through the door and my little voice inside my head yelled “Oh shit! Not this guy! Hopefully he’s too drunk to remember where I work!” He walks up to the counter with the “Hey Man! How have you been! It’s been a long time! I’ve been growing out my hair and blah, blah, blah…….” That’s about the time Charlie Brown’s parent’s voice starts kicking in. Before I go on, a little background. This guy is one of those people that I have to cut off almost every time they come in, I have had to have him removed from several bars and is, in general, a pain in the ass. Luckily he gets distracted easily and gets into a conversation with someone else quickly. The bar was slow, so I got to catch more of the conversation than I cared to, and noticed the Claven and the mooch coming out. After the unsuspecting rube bought him a drink, this guy knew everything about everything and had no problem talking loudly about it, even the stuff he knew absolutely nothing about, and was just spewing crap out of his word hole. If someone was that smart for real about that many things, then why is he hanging out in a dive bar mooching drinks instead of out making tons of cash and being as important as he says he is? Oh yeah, because he’s a dumbass.
Dive Bar Diaries