Hey Baby!

Another busy night, and a new batch of stupidity stewing away at the old watering hole. Amongst the usual tomfoolery, you know, people getting cut off, people trying to start fights and trying to bring in their own drinks, one person stood out above them all. At 11:30pm a young woman came walking into the bar with a baby in a car seat. Now, I have worked in bars for over twenty years and this might be a new first for me. My co-workers stopped her to see what was going on and I hear a voice through the crowd yelling “Hey! Do we allow babies in the bar?” to which I promptly replied “Fuck no!” and came over to see if there was indeed a baby in the bar, and I’ll be damned if there wasn’t indeed a baby in the bar. Her excuse was that she was just looking for someone. Well, I’m sorry, obviously this is your first time bringing an infant into a house of ill repute. You’ll need to leave your baby with the homeless people out front, or the “daycare service” as we call it, if you are wanting to bring your baby downtown for a drink after 9:00pm like the rest of the responsible parents. I’m just kidding of course, homeless people charge too much, leaving them in your car is free! (Seriously, just kidding!)

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