PDA Please Go Away

Ah, public displays of affection, it is a sacred act by two people telling each other “Hey! We think we’re hot together and want to share it with the world! We don’t care who sees it and how much it grosses everyone out that can see it! In fact, I am going to shove my hand down the pants of my make out partner and let him grab some boob just to show how secure we are!” And then it started getting gross. Yes, not only did it continue, but got even weirder, there were two girls and a dude that were going at it, right in the middle of the bar. Now, before we get some sexy erotic notion in our heads about two hot buxom beauties going at it with some hunky model type guy like in the “movies”, we have to remember, it is one in the morning and we are in a dimly lit dive bar. Said Dude is a bearded thirty something with the physique of a beer chugging, pizza plowing nacho noshing couch potato, while the ladies in this tale of woe are right along the same diet plan as their man. If you do the math, like I can’t keep myself from doing, we are looking at the flesh equivalent of five normal people, or twenty howler monkeys, that are about to get it on! Now, I’m not here to judge, oh, who am I kidding, I’m judging and I have to say, this ranks right up there on my ewww-o-meter at about an eight. I just hope they wear some kind of protection, and I don’t mean condoms, I mean helmets and pads. And Dude might want to hang an air freshener around his neck in case a sealed foul air pocket releases in the throes of all the nasty love making. Truly a sight to behold was this P.D.A. and unfortunately, I can’t hit myself hard enough in the head to knock the image out. Thanks you ugly jerks, thanks a ton. Yes, pun intended.

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