Rolling Around

Halloween is one of the best kids holidays for adults ever, especially for bartenders. While the fun spooky candy grab is awesome for kids, some people love to abuse this All Hallows Eve as a good excuse to get as many Jell-O shots and Coors Lights dumped into their food holes as they can get their hands on. That’s when the people watching gets fun, especially at the end of the night when I’m keeping people from coming into the bar after closing! My favorites this weekend you might ask? That’s an easy one, the rolling around the sidewalk drunk asses, both Friday and Saturday nights. While the throngs of Barbies were entertaining with all the screams and boob poking, these two guys took the cake. Saturday night sidewalk guy was leaning against a light pole trying to look cool and just slid off into the leaves with a thud and just laid there with his arms above his head. I was concerned at first until his friend tried to get him up and he just kept saying “I’m cool man, just leave me here, I need to chill man.”. The best was Friday night when the idiot teenager, or so I assume from the peach fuzz on his face, was dragged out of the street by his friend that just kept saying “I’m cool man! I just need to get into Brandon’s car and I’ll be fine!” while his friend was videoing him and laughing at him. It’s times like these that I’m glad that I’m sober to get to appreciate these special moments in debauchery.

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