Match Conspiracy

Some people have way too much time on their hands. For example, I noticed one of my customers staring intently at a book of matches, so out of curiosity I ask him if everything is ok. He looks at me and says “Do you think it’s a good idea to have matches with your bar’s name on them?” So, having to dig a little deeper into where he was going with this I said “Yes I do, we’ve been doing it for years, and it’s a good cheap way to get your name out there. Why? Do you think it’s a good idea?” I should have known better to end that statement with a question. He responded with something that had never crossed my mind and shouldn’t be a worry to anyone when he said “No I don’t. What if you get arrested and the cops find these matches in your pocket? They are going to know where you have been and they even have your address on them so they know right where to go to find out where you got drunk!” Now, I can’t speak for everyone, but getting arrested is not something I regularly worry about and besides, who cares if they know where you have been drinking if you do indeed get arrested? I think the police are going to have other worries on their hands if you are being handcuffed by them. The only concern the bar might have is if they had grossly over served someone and they were arrested for a DUII. That does not bode well with the local liquor agency, but then that is a whole other can of worms. My response to him was “Could you possibly be over thinking this? You are out to have a good time with your friends. Do you think your time could be better spent talking to them instead of focusing on this trivial issue that you have made up in your head, or possibly trying to talk to some girls?” He looked at me kind of confused and said “There are no girls in here to talk to!” After pointing out several groups of girls sitting in the bar he said “Oh, maybe I am over thinking this whole matchbook thing. I still think it’s a dumb idea though!” Yes, decades of giving away free matches have done nothing but cause us grief. Thank you so much for pinpointing the issue as we are obviously too daft to figure it out on our own. Oh wait, that’s right, there is no issue you paranoid freak.

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