Roll On Baby

We have recently acquired “Crazy Baby Walker Bum” somehow in the last week or so. He likes to cruise around town pushing a baby walker and the first time I saw him last week I kind of got freaked out, wondering why in the fuck our door guy let someone in the bar with a baby after the time limit we have to allow minors inside the place. Well, me being about as sharp as a bowling ball when I’m busy with customers, misunderstood when I was told he was being allowed inside because it was cold out and he wanted to warm up, not knowing there was not a baby in the stroller. As I was about to go talk to the man about not being able to have an infant in the bar he walked out the back, so I was sure the problem had dissolved itself, then the man came back inside without the stroller an I freaked out, thinking he had left a baby alone outside the bar in the alley! I almost came unglued until I was informed there WAS no baby and he was just a crazy homeless guy, then I was just annoyed after that. I eventually asked him to leave after he had warmed up a bit and had some coffee and it has bitten me in the butt ever since then. He keeps coming back in, leaving the stroller outside, freaking people that are not aware that there is no baby in the stroller when he leaves it unattended. My dark sense of humor gets a kick out of people’s reactions, but my black heart has no sympathy or tolerance for people panhandling inside the bar. If you want to find sympathy, you can find it in the dictionary, it’s between shit and syphilis.

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