Ass and Ash

I don’t want to sound like a snob or anything, but I always thought it was good manners to be presentable in public. By that I mean, all my parts are covered, nothing hanging from any visible orifices and I did not carry an offensive smell about me, with the exception of the occasional fart of course. Unfortunately, not everyone follows these standards when they expose themselves to others like the group that came in last night. If you smell like dog shit and stale cigarettes, you might want to rethink any kind of plans on leaving the house, like take a shower and NOT smell like dog shit and stale cigarettes! If, by chance, a friend ever lets you leave the house smelling anything remotely like this, punch them in the face and call them an asshole, unless you intended to do this on purpose, then they should do the same, but to you. Now since it was a group, there was no way of singling out the culprit in this attack of the olfactory senses, but by looking at them, there were several possibilities. I even had my coworker go over and see if she could figure it out, but alas, the mystery still lingers, much like the haze of canine excrement and cigarettes smoked long ago still hanging in the bar.