At closing time, I am used to hearing people pull on the door after we are all locked up so that we can get to taking care of the money and finish cleaning up before going home. Last night one of the doors had been overlooked, apparently, as we heard some people talking in the back of the bar. No problem, all we need to do is tell them that we’re closed, follow them to the back door and lock up after they walk out. No problem, right? Nope, not for one asshole. You know how smart-ass kids like to push your buttons to prove that they can get their way because they try to wear you down by being annoying? Yeah, that’s what this guy tried to do. He just kept asking stupid questions like “Why is the bar closed? Why do I have to go out the back door? Why is the bar closed? I don’t want to go out the back door. What’s the big deal? Why can’t I go out the front? Why are you pushing me?” (sound of door locking) Then he stood there yelling through the door because someone called him a loser and he was trying to tell us that he wasn’t a loser and we were the losers, you know, the rubber vs glue argument. I truly wanted to trip him, steal his lunch money and give him a wedgie but then I remembered, as an adult, that is actually called assault and I don’t need to deal with all that legal business. The next time he comes in he’s going to be very disappointed and thirsty after he is refused service. Maybe he doesn’t understand that as an adult, when you behave badly there are consequences to your actions. That shit might have worked with your parents, but it doesn’t fly here.
Dive Bar Diaries